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Keyword: #OUTTAKES
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GOOD NEWS, EVERYBODY. π‘‡β„Žπ‘’ πΊβ„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘ β€™ πΉπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘šπ‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ is coming along swimmingly. Artistic differences are being resolved, and we believe we shall have the book completed in record time. In the meantime, here’s a glimpse backstage.
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ππ‘πŽπ‹πŽπ†π”π„
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NARRATOR: On and on went the farmer’s sing-song chant, his call, the summons. β€œTaste them and try! Currants and gooseberries, bright-fire-like barberries, figs to fill your mouth, citrons from the South, sweet to tongue and sound to eye! Come buy, come buy.”
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SULTANA DIETRICH, AUTHOR AND BON VIVANT: Cut! Cut.
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NARRATOR: . . .
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SULTANA: The script reads, β€œbarberries.”
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NARRATOR: I π‘ π‘Žπ‘–π‘‘, β€œbarberries.”
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SULTANA: I know what you said. I’m not deaf. But what are barberries?
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NARRATOR: I don’t know. I’m just reading the scriptβ€”
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SULTANA: (π‘‘π‘Žπ‘π‘  𝑀𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦 π‘œπ‘› π‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘›π‘’) Hello? Yeah, Fitz? Fitz, no. Shut up a mβ€”Yes, I’m in studio. Theβ€”Right, that’s today. Where are you? I thought you were going to be here a halfβ€”No, I don’t want a cockatoo. Please pay attention. What is a barberry? A barberry. B-A-R-berry. Right. No, it’s right in the script, pageβ€”No, 𝐼 didn’t write it. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ wrote it. Are you sure? I don’t remembβ€”Fine. I’ll check the poem. Alexa, find me Christina Rosetti’s Goblin Market poem. No, Fitz, I’m talking to Alexa. Let’s see. Hold on, I have to put youβ€”Right, I have it. β€œDamsons and bilberries, Taste them and try: Currants and gooseberries, Bright-fire-like barberries, . . .”
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NARRATOR: Can I go on break? I have to use theβ€”
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SULTANA: (π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘‘π‘–π‘›π‘”) STAY RIGHT THERE, YOU. Fitz? It says barberries. Well, I don’t know what a barberry is. I thought you were doing the research. No, I didn’t. π‘Šβ„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ.
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NARRATOR: I really have to goβ€”
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SULTANA: (π‘Žπ‘‘π‘—π‘’π‘ π‘‘π‘  β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ 𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑔𝑙𝑦) DON’T LOOK AT ME DIRECTLY. And if you take ONE STEP, I am going to rip your eyes out and feed them to my new cockatoo! Fitz!